A famous Danish theologian, philosopher, poet and religious author, Soren Kierkegaard once wrote, “Once you label me, you negate me.” Negate means to nullify or make ineffective. In his quote, he’s saying that once you or I are labeled as anything—stupid, brute, irresponsible, brave or a coward, that’s what people think of us as. It will be the the cornerstone of what everyone who knows about our label, thinks of us. Kierkegaard wrote this in the early 1800’s and it was true then and it’s true today. It’s not good to be labeled because no one is completely one dimensional as a label most often indicates. And if you act or comment out of what your label is, quite often, people don’t respect or buy that “other” you.
But what happens when we label ourselves? Well, it’s worse when we label ourselves because now WE believe that we’re stupid, mean or one-dimensional. It’s not others who think that of us, it’s what we think of ourselves. And this takes me to the subject of this article—cowardice.
When we think of ourselves as a coward, perhaps because of some action we took or didn’t take in the past or when we compared ourselves to others who we thought were off the charts brave and we labeled ourselves a coward, we started a solid belief system in ourselves. One that quite likely caused us to feel limited, negated or ineffective, just like Kierkegaard said over 200 years ago.
But here’s the thing if we’ve labeled ourselves a coward. A coward is a coward from the time that he should have been brave to the next time that he has the opportunity to be brave. That’s all that a cowardice act is. It can happen to a soldier in battle, a cop during a stressful or physical altercation or it can happen to someone when they back down from protecting themselves or a family member from a brute or a bully. It could have happened once or even several times, solidifying in your mind, that you are a coward.
If you do not want to feel as if you’re a “coward” anymore, remember the words mentioned beforehand—a coward is a coward from the time that he should have been brave to the next time that he has the opportunity to be brave. You have the opportunity of not being a coward the next time an opportunity presents itself. I’ve taught many people self-defense for many years. And an issue many of the students I’ve trained have is that they feel hesitant to do what needs to be done in a dangerous situation. Like in a fight or an attack or to protect a loved one. Many of them felt that they were cowards in the past or that they couldn’t face up to danger in their midst. I tell them that they need to take a plunge into the cowardice erasing world. To step forward into the mess or the melee. It may take some planning, training or positive thinking but if I can take the plunge and move forward either verbally or physically against a loud mouth bully, so can they. I also tell them about Mike Tyson’s bout with fear. Mike Tyson was once known as the “badest man on the planet”. Back in the day, he was captured on video before an amateur fight where he was crying in fear before going into the ring. His coach helped him take the plunge and move forward, which he did, knocking out his opponent in world-record time and soon thereafter, becoming the poster child for tough fearlessness.
You are not some freak who has an overabundance of cowardice in your genes. All it takes to stop being a coward is when the next opportunity presents itself to stop being a coward is taking the plunge, diving into that cold water and continually moving forward into the storm in front of you. Once you’ve moved in to the danger, you’re no longer a coward. You’re free. You’ve broken your own label. And if you’re ever confronted again, I guarantee it will be easier for you to take the plunge and not be the coward that you always thought you were.
“To be or not to be”, used to be part of a saying from Shakespeare. Who would have thought that it also had to do with cowardice? It’s in your hands to be or not to be. Take the plunge and be free.
Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth, a former police supervisor and a graduate of The Police Executive Leadership College (PELC) and was also an award winning part-time college Criminal Justice instructor.
For several years, Steve did written and radio political and current event commentary and was the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio and TV talk show.
Steve presently owns a small businesses in Ohio--The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense.
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