Keith was verbally picked on all of his young life and even once while in high-school, was slapped in the face by a malcontent school yard bully. Getting slapped in the face, for a man, is almost as bad as being spit on. There’s something so degrading about a slap instead of a punch. It can fester inside of a man, making one feel like a real nobody. Keith did nothing when he was slapped and that’s why the feeling started to fester. The group that witnessed the slap laughed and Keith spent the rest of his high-school years feeling like a sheep.
Keith never forgot that slap. He got through high school, graduated college and became a network computer developer. In his late 20’s he was making boatloads of money, drove a top of the line BMW and had a fiancé that he thought he could have a nice life with. But he felt like a sham inside. You see, he was “the man” at the company he worked. Everyone looked up to him as the leader, the visionary, the go-to man. Workers were even a bit intimidated to approach him because of his power and expertise. Inside, Keith felt like a big old tall glass of deceit.
Keith also was a bit nervous about going to night clubs or sporting events with his fiancé. He feared that one day some ruffian would rudely come-on to his beautiful girlfriend and he’d cower away, losing her respect.
Keith wanted to learn how to fight but he didn’t know where to go. He knew about some fighting styles he had seen and researched, but there were so many—MMA, Japanese karate, Korean karate, Muay Thai, boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? His head was spinning trying to figure out where to go.
Keith’s story is quite common in America and probably worldwide. Not everyone who’s been verbally bullied, spit on, or even slapped in the face will be bothered by it all throughout their lives. For some, it’s not that big of a deal in the scheme of things and they go on leading happy and productive lives. But many people want to find a part of themselves that they’ve never known before. Others simply want to be able to protect themselves whereas heretofore, they’ve never felt that they could.
For those people who want to learn how to fight it’s not that difficult to get in the know. To fight well you need four things: How to punch and strike (open hands, elbows etc.). How to kick. How to grapple. And importantly, how to take the “plunge”. I’ll explain “the plunge” later.
To truly fight, not play word games or get into a pissing contest with someone, you must be able to cause physical damage. This comes from delivering punches, kicks or hurtful grappling moves. In grappling, potentially, one can place a hold on someone and force a person to submit to your will but even that is all about force causing damage being immediately ready at hand.
For the Keith’s of the world who want to learn how to fight they should shop around and look for some basics in a school or trainer:
• One that teaches you how to punch and strike with power.
• Teaches you how to do, at minimum, with power and realism, two basic kicks. A front kick (straight out kick that comes quite natural for people but which needs to be correctly taught to be effective) and a low roundhouse kick (similar to a roundhouse punch and comes around in sort of a quarter circle from you to an opponent’s lower body). This kick can devastate an opponent if done correctly.
• Grappling where you are effectively taught to take someone down to the ground and control him. Or, if you are taken down to the ground you can defend against their ground attack and prevail.
• A school that shows you how to take the plunge of “going for it” in a fight. This is of believing in your new found skills and taking the plunge in a fight. Similar to like diving into a cold swimming pool. And then utilizing little or no hesitation while using your fighting skills. Importantly, one must take the plunge and go for it in a physical confrontation.
Look for schools or trainers that have these basics. Everyone is unique and needs personal attention not cookie cutter instruction to truly excel. Find someone who will connect with your needs and help you to be what you want to be. It is not that difficult to learn to fight proficiently no matter how nonathletic you feel that you are. It is a skill that can easily be learned with the correct instruction and hard work.
Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth and was an award winning police officer.
For several years, Steve also did radio political and current event commentary and taught college Criminal Justice. He is the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio talk show.
Presently, Steve is the owner and Managing Director of one of the oldest martial art schools in Ohio, 'The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense'.
Latest posts by Steve Kovacs (see all)
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