God Says So, I Know—Make Sure You Listen To Me

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A father I know was sexually molested as a child. He came to terms with his nightmare of continuous abuse and relied on God to help him get through it all. And he did well, leaving behind the chains of his abuse. I believe that God more than likely did help him—just my personal opinion here, but I’m down with his belief that the Creator helped him. When he grew up and finally married and had his own child, he made sure that his boy knew all about God. The God that he knew, the Bible that he interpreted, and the advice he took in and believed from religious helpers like Bible study teachers.

However, there were problems brewing. Problems with the well-meaning father and the growing son.  Dad drilled his original ideas and now newer developed ideas about God into his son. He made sure the boy followed every directive “God” had put down. Of course, the ten commandment stuff but much more so. Things like don’t even think about questioning God. Don’t believe science if it seems to be in conflict with God. Homosexuality is a sin no matter what. Heterosexual behavior before marriage is a sin and swearing is a quick way to get to hell as well. He drilled into his son who was longing for direction that it was wrong to question or deviate from “Gods” direction. That he must tow the line. And that he cannot deviate at all because if he does, he’ll fall, fail and be a lost human being.

His son was puzzled. His growing mind was inquisitive and wanted discussion about important matters. Matters about science. Matters about sexuality. Sexuality—a growing boy’s libido is as strong as a ready to burst volcano and just saying no because God says so, puzzled him. He wanted to discuss it and wanted other options. But his dad had no other options. There was no discussion.  Nothing but dogma. Some, the father believed through experience and some, taught to him by so called religious experts. But he felt his son had to be subservient to his strict beliefs. He just had to be. If not, he’d be a lost person.

The son rebelled. He decided to think more on his own and went elsewhere to find answers about science, sex and about what makes a decent human being. In his journey, he became an atheist. More so, he developed a deep dislike for anything godly. He made sure to let people know he thought that God was not a god. Furthermore, the religious mumbo jumbo that was shoved down his throat was nonsense and hurt him deeply. The father didn’t budge, He kept the mantra that the son should come to his way of thinking. That there was no other way.

Some childhood sexual abuse victims abuse children when they become adults. Not all by any means, but some do. This father certainly did not sexually abuse his son or any child for that matter. But he did abuse his child. He closed a longing child’s mind. Shunted a healthy inquisitive mind and its healthy emotions. A growing human being was perverted. Today, the son is a young man and is bitter, angry and acting out in frustration about life’s unique ponderings. He’s angry, confused and frustrated and unsuccessful in life. The father was abused and hurt as a child. Of course much differently, he did the same to his son—unknowingly.

Teaching anyone should be done with open mind sharing of all parties. As for science and God, they are not separate by any means. In fact, any godly training that fears science is nonsense. And teaching a growing child with rigid dogma without offering give and take and being open to new possibilities is counterproductive to a child’s growth.

My guess is God is saddened by those who wrongly tout his direction. Man has perverted God since the dawn of time with blind obedience to actions that fear and arrogance itself developed. In other words, created by man, not by any God. God flows through open inquisitive minds who look, feel and listen for him and also by being helped by facilitators who help them find God, not show them God.

Steve Kovacs
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Steve Kovacs

Steve is a bestselling author with his latest book being, 'Protect Your Kids! The Simple Keys to Children's Safety and Survival'. Steve has also written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of topics.

Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth and was an award winning police officer being the recipient of the 'J. Edgar Hoover Foundation' award for Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity. Steve was SWAT trained by the FBI, FBI Hostage Rescue Team, and the LAPD.

For several years, Steve also did radio political and current event commentary and taught college Criminal Justice. He is the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio talk show.

Presently, Steve is the owner and Managing Director of one of the oldest martial art schools in Ohio, 'The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense'.
Steve Kovacs
Follow Steve
Steve Kovacs

About Steve Kovacs

Steve is a bestselling author with his latest book being, 'Protect Your Kids! The Simple Keys to Children's Safety and Survival'. Steve has also written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of topics. Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth and was an award winning police officer being the recipient of the 'J. Edgar Hoover Foundation' award for Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity. Steve was SWAT trained by the FBI, FBI Hostage Rescue Team, and the LAPD. For several years, Steve also did radio political and current event commentary and taught college Criminal Justice. He is the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio talk show. Presently, Steve is the owner and Managing Director of one of the oldest martial art schools in Ohio, 'The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense'.
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4 Responses to God Says So, I Know—Make Sure You Listen To Me

  1. As a former victim of sexual abuse by two different family members, I can empathize with a person’s need to reach out and find love that is not hurtful to you. Obviously this man has not healed, however, if he’s hurting his son in such a fashion. To me it sounds very much as though he is lashing out under the auspices of religion. He wants control in his life so badly (because he had no control over his abuser) that he not only tries to control himself but those around him as well. I feel bad for the son who will now turn fervently away from any kind of spirituality, and even should he ever have the slightest desire to learn about it, he will now shove those thoughts away out of anger toward his father. Unless his anger toward his father is healed, he will never be open to any sort of religious comfort.

  2. I think that if you’ve been really hurt through abuse, whether it’s emotional or physical, it’s very hard to face the pain and work through it, and unbelievably difficult to ever trust anybody again. It’s much easier to blank it out and place your life in God’s hands. Having experienced quite a lot of abuse myself, I understand why people do it, and can empathise with them.

    But healing and real resolution don’t happen in that way because whatever has been blanked out and repressed will include unprocessed emotions. They’ll carry on boiling beneath the surface, create pressure and manifest in neurotic ways like inflexibility and over-control. The thing is, when you really deal with your pain and fear and anger and hurt in an upfront way, your mind and heart open up and you become less controlling and more tolerant of other people’s ideas.

    A lot of people expect God or Jesus to rescue them from the responsibilities of being human. And a lot of religions tap into that and dish out ‘love’ to people in need in return for absolute control of their minds and their souls. It’s definitely not healing, and nor is it about God!

  3. Steve KovacsSteve Kovacs says:

    You have good points, Jenn. Tough subject matter no doubt. My sympathies go out to em all.

    I don’t believe most try to do harm but in a way, someone who really doesn’t know better often does more harm trying to help others than those who do not do anything to help. People who can help others to be set free from their personal chains make a huge difference in the world. Thanks……….

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